Link: The Faces of Evil
by dkspa
Summary: Link, the savior of Hyrule and hero of time, has been tasked to defeat Ganon once again. This time, the stakes are even higher... youtube poop
1. The Journey Begins

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Welcome to this adventure, not sure if this will last. It will only continue if you want it to.

* * *

All was well in the kingdom of Hyrule; there was peace and prosperity all around. Everything and one were content, all except for one boy…

We cut to a throne room where a young man, a princess, and a king are currently residing. They are discussing current issues in the kingdom. Yet one of them isn't content.

"Gee it sure is boring around here…" stated the boy clad in green rather boringly.

"Mah Boi," said the huge yet kind king, "This peace is what all true warriors strive for."

It seemed to have stuck to our young hero named Link, for he was a true warrior.

"I just wonder what Ganon's up to…"

WHOOSH!!!

Just then a strange man flew in through the balcony window on a magic carpet with a look of concern and worry on his aged face.

This man, known as Gwonam, was a mystic from a far off land. He possesses a huge beard and mustache, which covers most of his face. He wore majestic robes and a turban, both a shade of purple.

"Your majesty," Gwonam declared, "Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Corodi!"

This was not the news they were hoping to hear, peace had just returned to the kingdom.

"Hmm…" said the king in deep thought,

"How can we help?"

"It is written, only link can defeat Ganon" Gwonam said

"Great!" Link shouted as he punched his fist in the air, "I'll grab my stuff!"

"There is no time, your sword is enough." Assured Gwonam, with the upmost confidence in his voice.

"How about a kiss for luck?" Link asked hopefully to the princess.

It is no secret Link fancies Zelda.

"Ha you've got to be kidding…" she laughed.

With some last minute preparations and good byes, Link was finally ready to leave. He and Gwonam boarded the flying carpet.

"Squadila we're off!" Gwonam shouted.

Link and Gwonam were flying high above the kingdom, observing the scenery. Until finally Link had to ask his burning question.

"Wow, what are all those heads?"

"These are the faces of evil, you must conquer each." Gwonam answered. "You must conquer each."

"I guess I better get going..."

He indeed did get going.


	2. poop

It just got crazy up in hur.

* * *

All was well in THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM; there was peace and CUM all around. Everything and one were content, all except for one PINGAS…

We cut to a throne room where a young man, a princess, and a king are currently residing. They are discussing current issues in the kingdom. Yet one of them isn't content.

"Gee it sure is boring around here…" stated the boy clad in green rather boringly.

"Mah Boi," said the huge yet kind king, "SPAGETTI is what all true DINNERS strive for."

It seemed to have stuck to our young hero named Link, for he was a true warrior.

"I just wonder what BOWER'S up to…"

WHOOSH!!!

Just then a strange man flew in through the balcony window on a magic carpet with a look of concern and worry on his aged face.

This man, known as Gwonam, was a mystic from a far off land. He possesses a huge beard and mustache, which covers most of his face. He wore majestic robes and a turban, both a shade of purple.

"Your majesty," Gwonam declared, "Ganon and his TOAST have seized the island of Corodi!"

This was not the news they were hoping to hear, peace had just returned to the kingdom.

"Hmm…" said the king in deep thought,

"How can we DIE?"

"It is written, only link can MAKE GANON DINNER" Gwonam said

"Great!" Link shouted as he punched his fist in the air, "I'll grab my stuff!"

"There is no time, your DINNER is enough." Assured Gwonam, with the upmost confidence in his voice.

"How about a kiss for luck?" Link asked hopefully to the princess.

It is no secret Link fancies Zelda.

"Ha you've got to be DIE…" she laughed.

With some last minute preparations and good byes, Link was finally ready to leave. He and Gwonam boarded the flying carpet.

"Squadila we're off!" Gwonam shouted.

Link and Gwonam were flying high above the kingdom, observing the scenery. Until finally Link had to ask his burning question.

"Wow, what are all those heads?"

"These are the faces of HOTELS, you must conquer each." Gwonam answered. "You must conquer each."

"NO."

"I guess I better get HEAD..."

"Your majesty, have mercy!"

After you make all the DINNERS in Hyrule then we can talk about what's for DINNER.

YUM, DINNER….FOR…..ME.

He indeed did get DINNER.


	3. The Island

**Hello everyone dkspa here, just like to say you either get this story or don't. Oh and i would like to give credit to Filler2001 for helping me with this strange plot. Ok enjoy!**

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We cut to an island in the middle of the ocean. This island is a very peculiar location, the locals call it valkyiresuksalot; roughly translated into English it is… THE ISLAND OF ETERNAL DINNER.

"We must have DINNER!" shouted the dragon known as Bowser.

"NO."

"After DINNER we will discuss those pesky plumbers and Link." Said the being known throughout the land as Ganon.

Many evil beings were gathered at the island, such beings included Bowser, Ganon, Tom Cruise, Hitler, and Gumby himself.

"I would like to say something." Said Tom Cruise

"First off I would like to say…"

"FALCON PUNCHHH!!!!!" Shouted Hitler as he leapt from the table exploding Tom Cruise on impact.

"Well then, let's get started"

They all took their turns discussing various nefarious schemes in which to eliminate their enemies.

"I will give REGULAR PROSTATE EXAMS for BELGIAN WAFFLES!!" Bowser finally shouted at the top of his lungs.

After that little spasm and the arrival of their waffles they were finally ready to discuss a battle plan.

Ganon took a bite of the delicious waffles then shouted "IT BURNS."

"Hey look!" pointed Bowser over the hill.

And you know what they say, where there's smoke there's SPAGETTI!!!!


	4. Face of Spagetti

Link has just arrived at one of the most dangerous and evil Face of Evil. This face is known as SPAGETTI Island.

"You know what they say, all toasters toast toast." Said Mario.

"Right…." Said the green clad Link while confirming his suspicion that Mario was on some form of drug. Link couldn't figure out what was more annoying, the enemies or Mario's constant remarks that made no sense. Yet he couldn't resist his Italian charm.

"Let's get a move on Mario; we can keep stopping like this."

Mario just gave him a look then shouted,

"MAMA LUIGI??!?!?!?"

"Why do I even bother…?" Link mumbled to himself while they continued on.

As Link and Mario traveled further on into the building, Link took this time to explain the mechanics of what to do, he explained what rupees were, how they were the currency in this land, and other things such as that.

"Heads a-up." Said Mario as he leaped over Links head and stomped on an octorock that was 3 inches away from getting Link. After this event, Link and Mario became very close. Mario was actually getting the hang of fighting these new enemies, it wasn't like his usual brand of enemies. He figured out he couldn't just jump on them anymore, he had to kill.

* * *

On the Island of Eternal DINNER…

Bowser and Ganon were sitting across from each other, both deep in thought.

"Bowser, we must put aside our differences and unite to finally defeat our foes." Said Ganon.

"Indeed we should, we can finally rid ourselves of that pesky plumber and Link." agreed Bowser

"Without them, we can rule the world!"

"Every Time we try to commit crimes or take over the world, we always get foiled, well now we have a secret weapon, he is like us, always living in the shadows, waiting for his glory." "He could only achieve his goals and dreams by joining us. Stated Ganon as he stepped aside revealing someone.

"No, it can't be!"

* * *

Meanwhile…

"Well here we are." Said Link trying to sound braver then he felt.

Link and Mario finally emerged from the fray. After hours on end of lighting lamps, throwing bombs, and stabbing enemies; they finally reached their destination. They were both exhausted and dirty, yet their fighting spirit kept them going strong. They seemed almost tireless Nothing could stop them, or at least that's what they thought.

"We shall defeat him together Link. Don't you worry; we will save Hyrule from that beast Ganon." He said.

They slowly walked forward and pushed the door open with all their might. It slowly crept open to allow them entrance. It was pitch black.

"Where are you cretin?" Mario Shouted into the darkness. "Coward!"

He was tired of fighting and tired of running; He wanted to end it right here, right now.

After agonizing minutes of waiting Link finally said

"Mario, I don't think anyone is…"

Just then they heard something from the abyss, a shuffling of feet perhaps?

"Hello Link and Mario glad you could join me." Said a voice from the darkness they couldn't help but recognize.

* * *

Who can it be? I actually took this chapter seriously for once =0, yeah if you guys like it i will continue.


	5. It can't be!

When we last left off, Link and Mario had just got to the final room of the Face of SPAGETTI, a mysterious figure has just emerged form the shadows.

* * *

"Luigi?"

"Indeed." He said.

"I have been living to long in your shadow Mario, I have joined Bowser and Ganon in their quest to rule the Hyrulian Mushroom kingdom."

Mario and Link were awestruck. The shook was just too much for them; Luigi was Mario's brother and even his friend. He couldn't believe Luigi could do this.

"How could you Luigi, I thought we were friends?"

"We were Mario," He started, "You were always the hero, people admired you, loved you, but never me. Then I found Bowser and Ganon, they knew what I wanted, and they knew how to give it to me. His offer was that I was to become a brain at one of the Faces of Evil. I agreed."

"But why Luigi? I loved you…"

Luigi looked like he was in an eternal conflict; back and forth he paced mumbling inaudible under his breath.

"Mario, I have one word to say to you."

"SPAGETTI!!!!!" At that declaration he lunged at Mario with his sword, who deflected it.

"Think of the princess Luigi." Mario said.

"No"

"DID YOU BRING A LIGHT?"

"I WONDER WHAT'S FOR DINNER."

"Join me PINGAS and I will make your CUM the greatest in THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM, or else you will DIE!!"

"No." Said Mario in a rather comedic way.

"Mario!" Link shouted. "Do you have the enclosed instruction book? It is the only way we can defeat him!"

Mario then tossed the ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK at Luigi, who then proceeded to shout,

"NO!!! NOT INTO THE PIT, IT BURNS!!!!!!"

Luigi then proceeded to disappear into the ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK with a slight pop.

"It is over, for now…"

At that, the plumber known as Mario, and the hero known as Link set off onto the sunset.

* * *

"Gee it sure was nice for the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh LINK?"

"I hope she made lotsa SPAGETTI!"

"Look LINK, it's from Bowser,"

**Dear pesky plumbers, (Oh yeah after Luigi's defeat Link decided to become a plumber.)**

**The koopalings and I have taken over the mushroom kingdom. The princess is now a permanent guest at one of my 7 koopa hotels. I dare you to find her if you can.**

**Love, **

**Bowser 3**

**(ps. PINGAS!!!!!!!)**

"We gotta find the princess!"

"And you gotta help us." Said Link pointing at no one.

"If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed PINGAS."

* * *

Should i continue?


End file.
